この記事の日本語版はこちらをご覧下さい
The introduction to this series of articles can be found here

Definition: Being on the receiving end of extra-diligent inspection from Japanese Customs Officials on account of being non-Japanese

Example sentence: “I was lucky to avoid the full body cavity search bearing in mind I was FWG”

Related expressions: RWG - Riding While Gaijin

Explanation: Last month I came back to Japan from an overseas trip only to receive my usual welcome from Kansai Airport’s Customs officials. Every time I’ve entered Japan through that airport I’ve had my bag searched, apart from the one time I was travelling with a Japanese friend. On that occasion the Customs Official quizzed us about where we’d been, how long we’d known each other and how we met for what seemed like ages, until finally - clearly desperate to search my bags but unwilling to offend my Japanese travel companion - he allowed us through.
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The English version of this article can be found here

定義： 日本人じゃないって事で日本の税関で職員に張り切って、徹底的に検査されること

例文： 「今回はマジでラッキーだったよ。とりあえず手袋はめてお尻の穴まで検査されずに済んだしね。FWGなのにだよ！」

関連表現： RWG －Riding While Gaijin （飛行機の代わりに自転車に乗ってる時に同じような目に遭うこと）

解説： 先月海外旅行から帰って来た時、関西空港の税関でまた同じ目にあった。税関を通ると絶対スムーズにいかない。唯一持ち物検査なしで済んだのは日本人の友達と一緒に旅行して帰った時だけだった。それでも、さんざん質問はされた。どこに旅行したのか、その友達と知り合ってからどれくらいか、どうやって知り合ったか、などなど、あんまり長くて日が暮れるかと思った。とにかく僕のバッグを検査したくてたまらなかったようだけど、一緒にいた日本人の友達に悪いと思ったのか、しぶしぶ通してくれた。
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According to Wikipedia the Fushimi area of Kyoto gets its name from the words fusu(hidden) and mizu(water), meaning ‘underground water’, and to anyone who’s familiar with the area(1) it’s obvious why: Fushimi has an abundance of natural springs and the purity of the water has led to the area becoming one of Japan’s most famous centres of sake production.

Despite living in Fushimi for over two years I had never visited a sake brewery until last month, when I decided it was about time I checked one out. For convenience I selected the Gekkeikan Okura Sake Museum, which - in addition to being a sake brewery - explains the brewing process and history of sake through its informative displays and collection of historical artefacts. Founded in 1637 in Fushimi, Gekkeikan has grown to become one of the leading producers of sake; this museum is located on the site of the company’s original brewery and attracts visitors from all over Japan(2).

Arriving with an empty stomach I got a buzz off the three small glasses of sake I was given to sample (a sweet one, a dry one and a plum one, all of which were quite palatable in case you’re wondering) and I contemplated cracking open the complimentary souvenir bottle I received with my admission ticket. I decided against this however - cold sake’s nice and hot sake’s potent, but drinking room-temperature sake would just be wrong, even for a non-connoisseur like myself.
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Kobe Luminarie

Not content with just depicting acts of unprovoked violence, this bizarrely-titled episode encourages underage drinking too! Here’s 火事とケンカは森の花 (Fire and Arguments are Flowers of the Forest), which also adds firearms violations to Takora’s lengthy rap sheet.

Drug Smuggling Stories

The autobiographical books Midnight Express by Billy Hayes, The Damage Done by Warren Fellows and Mr Nice by Howard Marks offer fascinating insights into the consequences of drug smuggling, namely doing time in a foreign prison far away from friends and family and the impact that has on a person’s life. In all three cases the writers admit they were guilty of smuggling drugs, but what happens in cases where the guilt is less clear-cut?

Justice For Nick Baker is a site devoted to raising awareness of the trial and conviction of Nick Baker, a chef from England, who was arrested on drug smuggling charges at Tokyo’s Narita Airport in 2002. Baker maintained that he was tricked into bringing a suitcase through Customs by his travelling companion and was unaware that he was carrying drugs, but was found guilty and sentenced by a Japanese court to 14 years in prison with forced labour and a ¥5,000,000 fine. He continues to protest his innocence, and this website was set up by his family and supporters to keep people up-to-date about his situation.

Wikipedia (citing a Japan Today article by Mark Devlin) casts some doubt on his innocence, but whether you believe Baker or not is really incidental as the Justice For Nick Baker site now focuses more on the absurdities and unfairness of the Japanese judicial system. It seems the principal of being ‘innocent until proven guilty’ found in democratic countries may be inverted in Japan judging by the 99.97% conviction rate of Japanese Courts and trial by judge not jury, and the site also contains allegations of mistreatment of foreigners in Japanese prisons.

Other sites that focus on lengthy detention, unfair trials and mistreatment of prisoners in Japan include Chris Snell’s website and Amnesty International, while Wikipedia articles on Schappelle Corby and Chika Honda are interesting companion pieces to the Nick Baker article.

Following my earlier post about Kure Kure Takora (Gimme Gimme Octopus) I’m going to put some of the best episodes from YouTube on this site. By ‘best’, of course, I mean the most bizarre, perplexing and/or violent episodes. Here’s episode 100, タコラ人形の巻 (The Takora Doll Episode), which features plenty of voodoo doll-style Takora abuse. Enjoy…

この記事の日本語版はこちらをご覧下さい
The introduction to this series of articles can be found here

DEFINITION: Runway (noun) A strip of land with a covered surface used by aeroplanes (US English = airplanes) for take off and landing; Futon (noun) A soft mattress used for sleeping on.

Runway futon (noun) A futon put down/laid out in a tiny area of hastily-cleared floor space in a messy one-room apartment.

EXAMPLE SENTENCE: “It’s about time I tidied up my apartment – I had to settle for the runway futon again last night”

EXPLANATION: One of the downsides of living in a one-room apartment is the lack of storage space, resulting in either a sparse, minimalist lifestyle or over-crowding and untidiness. In my case, I’m a bit of a ‘hoarder’ and rarely throw anything away (apart from rubbish/garbage of course).

This means that no matter how good my intentions are, or how many space-saving devices I buy from the ¥100 shop or home centre, my apartment is simply impossible to keep tidy. I start leaving things out on the carpet so I know where they are, these things keep accumulating, and before long there are piles of paper and junk all over the place. I’ve spoken to other people who live in one-room apartments and it seems this is a problem shared by many of them, especially since most people sleep on futons not beds.
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The English version of this article can be found here

定義： Runway (名詞) 滑走路; Futon (名詞) フトン

Runway Futon (名詞)　散らかりまくったワンルームにフトンを敷くためだけに即効片付けた小さいスペース

例文： 「そろそろ部屋片付けなきゃ。昨日もrunway futon（フトン用滑走路）作んないといけなかったし。」

説明： ワンルームで不便な事といえば、とにかく収納場所がないってこと。結局は必要最小限だけに止めたわびしい生活をするか、物があふれかえって散らかった部屋に住むしかない。僕は何でも溜め込むタチで、物を捨てる事はめったにない（ゴミは捨てます！当然）。

結果、どんなに僕が部屋をきれいにしようと頑張っても、100円ショップとかホームセンターで色々便利な収納家具を買ってきても無駄に終わる。そういう訳で、僕はアパートの床に何でも物を置くようになった。だって、どこにあるかすぐに分かるから。でも、当然それが積もっていって、いつのまにかガラクタの山になった。ワンルームに住んでいる人達と話をすると、皆も同じような事で頭を抱えていた。特にほとんどの人はベッドじゃなくてフトンで寝るからそれなりのスペースも確保しないといけない。
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