There are two types of mumbler, the most common being the type whose chronic shyness and lack of confidence causes them to speak at a volume that’s inaudible over the sound of an air conditioner. The second, rarer type (I’ve only taught two like this) is the student likes to do a bizarre kind of shadowing activity, lip-reading as you speak and repeating the words you say half a second later. (more…)

This selfish student loves to be the centre of attention and is the exact opposite of the Pot Plant: talking endlessly about themselves, regardless of whether their teacher or classmates are interested or not; over-participating in the lesson so that classmates are unable to answer questions or give their opinions; and competing with the teacher to ensure the lesson revolves around them.
(more…)

As everyone knows, potted plants are used to decorate people’s homes and just sit in the corner doing nothing. Similarly the pot plant’s role in the class is purely decorative, their input in the proceedings non-existent.

The question ‘what’s new?’ always receives the same answer: ‘nothing special’. Similarly, enquiries about whether they have any hobbies gets responses like ‘sleeping’, ‘shopping’ or simply ‘I have no hobbies’. (more…)

This student is reluctant to leave the classroom after the lesson has finished, and is about as difficult to get rid of as a fart in a spacesuit. Taking it upon themselves to attempt to engage you in conversation about dull topics that could have been discussed during the lesson, their efforts to prolong their weekly dose of social contact are particularly frustrating when you have another lesson immediately after theirs, or when theirs is the last lesson of the night and you’re eager to get home.

Japanese society is renowned for people’s concern for the wellbeing of the group as a whole. However, this means nothing to The Health Risk: they insist on coming to class for their weekly dose of social contact, even though they have a virus or infectious disease. (more…)

In the past couple of years the katakana loan word kureimā (claimer=complainer) has become widely used in Japanese to describe this kind of person: the Trouble Maker is someone who loves to complain about things, often to try and claim some kind of financial compensation (a discount or something for free), but sometimes simply because they enjoy causing trouble. (more…)

If you’re teaching English to adults in a Japanese eikaiwa, chances are you’ll meet some great people. Speaking from my own experiences as a teacher, I met some of the most kind, generous and interesting people I’ve ever met.

Unfortunately though, the money-grabbing nature of the eikaiwa industry means that anyone can take English conversation lessons, even if they are hopeless at learning languages, have poor ability to interact socially, or are mentally ill.
(more…)

The best things I’ve found on other people’s blogs recently:

An amusing piece called ‘Japanese Ebonics’ appeared on Becky’s T-Blog a while back. The post focuses on a book called ‘Off The Hook’ by Randall C. Miller Jr that attempts to educate the Japanese reader in the nuances of African American slang. With phrases like “gimme some dap”, “did you wear a raincoat?”, “I ain’t no playa hater” and “you startin’ to sound like a biotch”(?!) it’s certainly more entertaining than most of the textbooks I’ve been forced to teach in the past. On the other hand, I’m not too sure when Japanese students would be in a situation that would require such vocabulary. Apart from attempting to blend in while on a homestay in South Central or Harlem that is.

I must introduce this style of English language teaching into my lessons! (minus the skintight lycra of course)